Chain Lifts Ain’t Noise Pollution

Dear Coaster Friends,

Who is ready to crank up the tunes and head out on a road trip? I know I am, I am a real music lover and I lead a busy life. Long stretches in the car is where I can really listen to music and usually my long car trips lead me to the amusement parks. I know you cannot safely have headphones on when riding roller coasters, but I wish they could have a soundtrack. I do not want more on board audio, I just wish I could wear my headphones on a roller coaster in a safe way without violating park rule. If I could what song would each roller coaster be?

Maxx Force the new roller coaster being installed at Six Flags Great America is a brand new track, but I think it will be compared to other intense launch coasters. The one I thought of when I first saw the reveal animation was Storm Runner at Hershey Park. These rides are pure punk rock, maybe The Descendants or Black Flag? The extreme acceleration is the drum roll leading in, then it is just pure relentless energy. The launch coasters are sort of a counterculture movement too, “HEY MAN WE DON’T NEED YOUR RULES OR CHAIN LIFTS!” Of course like all punk rock it is over fast and you are left breathless, but ready for more.

Yukon Striker at Canada’s Wonderland I thought was the safest bet for a good time, but I have been surprised how unenthusiastic people have been about the prospect of the longest, tallest, and fastest dive coaster. What I speculated was that this could be a Cedar Fair trend, and dive coasters could get dropped across the chain. Why the lackluster reception? Why call these dive machines general public additions? I think you are embarrassed to admit you like it, why else would you turn your nose up at a 200 plus foot drop straight down? That must mean they are dance music like Lady GAGA or the freshest boy band. A big drop and then repetition on a theme, all the while your feet are moving about freely. Those new vest restraints must be like autotune,  something that is supposed to make it better but it ends up just getting in the way.

West Coast Racers at Magic Mountain and Copperhead Strike at Carowinds don’t have that same look of being all about the launch. They both look like they will deliver different experiences but at the same time I want to look at them together. You will be able to enjoy each ride for a solid duration, and the pace of the ride changes throughout. These must be the prog rock tracks, maybe Yes or Genesis? The variety, the uniqueness, they even look polarizing. Also they are both coming from Europe and have the potential to be temperamental.

Another ride I am not hearing a lot of enthusiasts clamoring for it Hagrid’s Magical Creatures Motorbike Adventure. This has less to do with the details of the new track as no preview has really dropped, and more to do with Dragon’s Challenge. Dragon’s must have been a pure power ballad, solid, heavy, and as with any song about love, it contained two paths. I think that many feared that Universal was replacing Whitesnake with The Wiggles, but we don’t really know what to expect just yet. Hopefully it will end up being more of a singer/songwriter track like Jack Johnson or Paul Simon. I am looking for a good rhythm and a story I can connect with.

Kennywood has been working on a daring track that is going to set a new trend or leave everyone throwing up in the station with Steel Curtain. Steel Curtain is heavy metal, when I look at it I think Pantera or Alice Cooper. The quick changes in direction, the shear number of inversions, it even has a bridge! I can almost hear the screaming riders as the guitar solo. It is extreme, intimidating, and aggressive. I am sure many will stare at it from the ground thinking that anyone enjoying themselves on it must be possessed, and there is a potential for headbanging on this unknown chassis.

With all of these new tracks we have a lot of fun just around the corner, and I am ready to rock. I wonder though, if we loaded all these tracks into a jukebox and I gave you each one quarter what track would get the most play? I just can’t wait to hear the click clack of the anti roll back, the perfect intro to my favorite tune.

Author

​Jeff Goodman