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Fanboys unfailingly support a park that seems in most cases to do little other than disappoint. It's one thing to uphold a park well recognized for excellence, like Cedar Point or Disney. Those are first class amusement/theme parks who frequently reward their patrons for their loyalty.Most Fanboys of other parks are still waiting for their world class roller coaster, dark ride, flat ride, etc. ship to come in. They'll continue to wait for as long as necessary because being a Fanboy means having patience, and unlimited hope.
That said, Fanboys rarely exhibit actual patience. Hope springs eternal, whether warranted or not, and from that hope springs rage when the park doesn't measure up to expectations. Unfortunately they often set their expectations too high, and have to face a disappointing reality.By the end of the season, Fan Boys "can't do it anymore" and threaten to quit. And then something magical happens that brings all Fanboys together and renews faith in the park. An off season rumor from an “inside source” erases months of anguish after all hope was lost, and begins the cycle anew.That event is at the core of the most prominent way you know you're a Fan Boy:
#1 The Off-Season Is More Exciting Than Coaster Season!!!
Coaster Season? Never mind that, the Fanboy needs to start scouting for their next world-class ride instead of you know RIDING COASTERS! They prowl around the park looking for flags, dots of spray paint, and study land clearing. Of course, it rarely works out for the Fanboy, as they act like archeologists finding proof of a record breaking attraction that ends up being a Dippin Dots stand. The off season is more exciting than the actual coaster season when your park has confirmed land clearing. They always come into those off seasons with lots of optimism. The off season is almost always a time to fill the most massive Fanboy want, never the essential park need.
#2 The Most Frustrating Fanboys Are Your Own
You all know this one. This person is a Fanboy, technically, but he has become so jaded over the years that the first sign of adversity is enough for him to throw his hands up and quit—and try to bring everyone else down with him. And I'm not talking about a kids area expansion two years after the last one. That's frustrating to anyone. No, to this guy, a new restaurant or new bathrooms, and or other general improvements. Means all hope is lost for the park and "FIRE EVERYONE." There is no in-between. To an extent, this Fanboy is to be pitied. What you're seeing is little more than a defense mechanism built up over years of not getting what they want. Mentally, he destroys any possibility of success so that the actual act of losing, in their mind hurts less. It's kind of sad. That doesn't make it any less obnoxious when you're trying to enjoy a day at the park though.
#3 You Own Merchandise of a Ride You Now Hate! (Because you bought it the year before you rode it…)
Don't be ashamed, way more people than you own those Storm Chaser T-shirts. The nature of over-hyped rides is that expectations are sky-high for them, so everyone goes out to buy their merchandise. But the problem with over-hyped rides is that they can never live up to expectations. And by that point, Fanboys have turned on them for betraying their expectations. The sight of the T-shirts alone brings back awful memories of disappointment, confusion, anger, and maybe a hint of the excitement that came with that rides initial arrival. They look upon them with shame in retrospect, but they are a part of the park's history like anything else. That said, they are a great way to prove you supported the park even during its worst years.
#4 The Slappy
There's no doubt that most of us have been accused of being an insert park here slappy in our lifetime. It's not a bad thing, though it is often conceived as a bad thing. What is slappy? A slappy is a Fanboy that believes their park can do absolutely no wrong. The sky is always blue, and this is the year their park will build the best ride in the world. Any attempt to tell the slappy any different will result in said slappy calling you a hater or even a Fanboy of another park. I say slap on slappy. There's nothing wrong with a little optimism. Seeing the bright side of things helps. Even if it's a bad situation, take the Valravn announcement. Only the diehard Cedar Point Fanboys were impressed. They took great pride to tell anybody who would listen that Valravn was a perfect fit. The rest of the enthusiast community gave out a collective yawn.
#5 The Angry Fanboy.
Angry Fanboy will get incensed if anything negative is said about their park. This Fanboy will loudly debate you all night and will tell you, you're wrong no matter what. There is nothing wrong with this Fanboy's love of the park. But if you insult the park, even suggest it isn’t the absolute best in front of them, you'll wish you hadn't. Get ready for a long night.
#6 The Elitist.
They are similar to the grammar police in that; they are always correcting you. "That is the best roller coaster in the world. No that is the best roller coaster you have ridden." The Elitist is invariably well traveled, at times to more than one continent. The type of person who has been to Alton Towers, but skipped Stonehenge. They will tell how much better the parks and rides that they have visited are, compared to the ones you love. "I am telling you Nagashima Spa Land and Hakugei are better than Cedar Point and Steel Vengeance. I know I have been to both." The Elitist will proudly wear T-shirts from obscure parks and rides that only ten other Elitist know. To sum it up, you seriously start to contemplate breaking the sixth commandment when you around them for too long.
#7 The Lifer
The Lifer is everyone that is proud to be a park Fanboy. The Lifer is the Fanboy that wakes up early every day to get their parking space, because it is theirs. Makes sure to watch the local news and weather. Is usually the first one in line, The Lifer will go to the park every day they can, they know every inch of the park, the employees great him by name. They are the Fanboy that can't wait to take their child to the park for the first time and buy his first ride picture. They can never walk away from their favorite park. Truth be told It's a little bit in all of us, whether we're happy or angry, we'll always faithfully attend and borderline worship our favorite park. When that day comes, and our park builds themselves the worlds best roller coaster, dark ride, flat ride, etc. The Lifer will experience the most blissful experience they have ever felt.
Until then, let's hear some of your suggestions for the different types of Fanboys in the comments below.