Let me put it in Disney-fied terms for ya (*Ernesto de la Cruz voice*): REMEMBER ME?!?! I'm back baby, and (pretending to be) better than ever!I want to assure you I still do this column even though my disappearing act has made it seem otherwise, an unexpected circumstance of going on vacation and coming down with a foreign strain of the flu (only somewhat bragging) before returning home and being rendered useless for a full nine days.
I went to Tokyo Disney Resort and Shanghai Disneyland for the second time and Universal Studios Japan and Puroland for the very first while overseas, all of which were informative and truly exceptional. While I continue to attempt to mentally process everything I saw — and how superior Tokyo Disney Resort is, wow, WOW — let's focus on all the domestic madness I missed while ignoring the entirety of theme park Twitter, because I missed a lot.
Think of this as your inaugural 2020 "We Didn't Start The Fire" column. Will it rhyme? Maybe. (It won't, I have somewhere to be in a few hours and I don't have that kind of time.) Or do I!?!?! You'll have to read until the end to find out!!!